I feel like I had every intention of documenting this pregnancy week by week, but 4 months in and I’m already slacking. But for journaling/record purposes…here’s a little snippet of my experience so far. The first few weeks after I had found out I was pregnant, I honestly felt zero symptoms. I was hopeful for a smooth sailing first trimester–and just like clockwork, when I was exactly 7 weeks, the nausea made it’s lovely appearance. And unlike last time, it didn’t just hang out for the morning. I was nauseous all day and at night it was extra prevalent. I was also SO tired. Like got hit by a train + a sumo wrestler + an anvil tired. I was lucky to have some time off from work for the summer so I spent a lot of time doing absolutely nothing. Cleaning? Didn’t happen. Cooking? Forget about it. Getting ready for the day? What’s that? I wanted any and all Mexican food. Especially if it was food that I didn’t make myself. Taco Bell was (and truthfully still is) always a go to. Give me all the bean + cheese burritos! Cooking meat was a true nightmare. And looking at, nay even thinking about vegetables made me queasy. But pizza + spaghetti + tacos + cereal gave me life. Basically it was a diet of carbs and cheese for 5 weeks. #health. Also really cold glasses of milk. I don’t even know, but still, a glass of milk always hits the spot. Bless my dear husband for putting up with my miserable lazy self. As always, he was and has been so good to me and there’s nothing I love more than being excited about our little bean together.

As not so fun as pregnancy is, this time around I’ve tried to be more present and appreciate every little moment. Although, lying nauseous on the bathroom floor isn’t the easiest place to feel gratitude. I’ve definitely done my fair share of complaining, but I feel truly grateful to be able to carry and grow this little human. With the heightened happiness and excitement has also come heightened anxiety. It’s been so easy to worry and overthink about what could go wrong. So many what if’s, so many doubts. But I just have to keep reminding myself that God has wonderful things in store and that He wants nothing more than to bless me–and that I need to step aside and let him do just that. My OB had me go in at 10 weeks for genetic testing, to help ease our minds and also let us find out the gender early! We would get the results at our 12 week appointment along with an ultrasound. The days leading up to that appointment I hardly slept. I was SO anxious. I wanted the results so bad, but was also terrified to receive them. Again, more what ifs. I was able to access the results online that morning and cried and cried as I read that everything came back clear. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Yet, in the waiting room I was a ball of nerves still even though I was certain everything was going to be okay. The doctor confirmed that everything looked perfect and it was the strangest feeling, getting such good news. It was such a contrast from our last experience.

At 16 weeks I’m finally getting a bit of my energy back. With the increase in energy also came a little baby bump! It’s such a sweet reminder to me that there really is a baby in there and I haven’t just been sick for nothing. My nausea has been swapped out for constant hunger, which was a welcomed trade! Give me all the food. I even have started to feel what I think are little flutters and movements. Nothing absolutely certain, but more than I ever felt with Mara. It’s magical and crazy to think that there really is tiny human growing inside of me. A tiny human that’s going to be hanging out with us in just a matter of months. Despite all of the discomfort and anxiety that’s come with this pregnancy, I couldn’t be more excited or more grateful. Now I just spend all my days making list, wandering the aisles of baby stores, and searching like a mad woman online for baby deals. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

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